The Reason I loved Him
by Wrathie Winsre
Summary: From Little Busters! A small Series of One-Shorts detailing why, all of the heroines, Loved him. Spoilers warning! Inclusive of only the Little Busters members! New chapters will be added when Good Endings are unlocked
1. Short 1: The reason I returned to him

_Why I love Him: Kud's Version!_

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**Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.**

Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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I always remember how we met.

Me, alone and new in this new world, a world I had just entered into due to my own selfishness. Away from family, away from home, away from the place I know of.

To a new world that I had not seen before, but had heard before, smelt before, tasted before, experienced before I even stepped on this new land.

A brand new world, a world that I had dreamt about but not seen with my own eyes…

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I was led into the room, a room of new beginnings so I thought and as I looked around, at their faces, trying to imagine their names, imagine their names, who they are.

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Many questions went through my mind that day:

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Would they accept me? Would I seem odd?

I look different from them and from their eyes, I can tell that they know that.

But, I hope to be the same as them…

Somehow, in some way; even if it is a little, insignificant way.. that I can be the same.

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Yes, the same.

Even if it's the way we walk. Even if it's the way we dress.. even if it.. is the food that we eat.

I hope, to fit in.

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And so I spoke, in the way that I am expected to, in the language that I know is theirs.

I said my name.

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Noumi Kudryavka

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I gave my name, the name that I was given, the name of my family and my whole world was announced to the room.

And yet, and yet.

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They laughed…

Was it funny? Was I speaking a joke? Did I misunderstood the question?

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But no, I looked back at the person who brought me there and she was sighing, her face stern as she berated the class.

No, I had not been mistaken. So why… so why?

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I asked myself this as I looked to the floor. They, laughed at me?

But, I knew that they didn't mean to be mean.

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In a small part of my heart, a voice told me that:

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_"They are not being mean. No one in this room meant to be mean…"_

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A childish, hopeful and bright voice told me that and I raised my head to face the people again, all of them looking and discussing about me.

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But, I had forgotten the most important part…

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Oh yes, the reason I fell in love with him.

With my Riki, with him…

That's why I love him.

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As he did not laugh at me, in that fateful day. In my first day in my new world, a new world that I had ventured into.

He was the only person to not laugh at me.

He just sat there, smiling as he looked at me, his mouth mumbling what must be my name.

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I…

I fell in love with him.

I knew that, from the moment my heart skipped a beat.

Was it the same reason why I looked down? To hide my fluttering heart and blushing cheeks?

I do not know.

What I do know is…

That I loved him, then and there.

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In my heart, a blossoming bud of love was born. Just because he didn't laugh at me.

Why, oh why is love so weird and mysterious?

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I do not know. Not even the gods or the books that I read can give me an answer. Neither can the stars that I aspire to reach.

So I fell in love with him… but that is not the reason I love him.

Oh no, there are many ways for me to count, the way that I love him.

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From the way he tried to bring me around the campus, explaining to me in a language he is not familiar with. With his face flushed red from trying, his hand gestures trying to elaborate what he was saying to me.

I was sorry, really sorry that I had to lie to him.

Yes, I had to lie to him, to everyone for that day.

It is not that I really meant to lie, but I had my reasons..

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And here's the reason:

I wanted him to stay with me longer. Just being him made me happy, even if he was making a fool of himself.

Will he forgive me for being selfish?

Will he forgive me for wanting to be with him for as long as I can?

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I should tell him that one day, how adorable and cute he looked when I looked back at him eagerly, pretending not to understand him.

But that is just one of the reason…

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Another reason for my love is how he always seemed to be willing to help me.

Me, a person who belongs nowhere.

Me, a person who is not his people and not from the place I was born.

Me, Like the Bat who is not a land-dwelling animal nor a bird who belongs in the skies….

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It's always the smallest things that matter, that is what I always believe in.

And for him, the smallest things he did for me. The things that he did without thinking, unconsciously to help me…

Is the reasons that I love him.

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Yes, that is why I love him.

From the way he carries my things for me. From the way he looks over me while I am sleeping, overcame by tiredness under the shade.

From the way he shares my joy, playing with Strelka and Belka in the field.

And most importantly, watching me from behind my seat… trying, ever so slightly, to encourage me throughout each day.

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Why, I asked him why does he do such things?

Why does he bother with me?

Why does he defend me?

Why does he not mind being ridiculed even if it pierces my heart the way he was mocked by being with me?

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Why?

I asked him why… and he told me that…

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All he wanted in the world, was to be with me.

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That's why I love him.

From the first day I fell in love with him, I made a small wish that I can say it to him. That I loved him.

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From the start, I had feared, I had known, I had moments where I knew, I had believed that he loved another.

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But it was not her, the one who spends the most time with him…

But it was not her, the one who he spent alone on the roof.

But it was not her, the one who looks after him in a sisterly way.

But it was not her, the one who he looks after, reading by herself under a shaded umbrella.

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No, it was me that he was in love with.

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We, loved one another.

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And that is why, I loved him.

No, that is why, I, till now, still love him.

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My Riki, mine. No one else's…

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Yes, I was the one who confessed to him.

Yes, I was the one who pointed to him and said I wanted him to study with me.

Yes, I was the one who hugged him from behind after it was all done.

Yes, I was the one who kissed him first, on the chin.

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Yes, it was all I.

It was all what I had thought to be a one-sided crush.

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But no

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It was the same reasons that I love him that he loved me.

Or so he says.

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But does that matter?

I love him and he loves me.

Is there a reason for me to love him when there is no reason why he loves me?

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Is it how, in my darkest day, he told me to be brave and made me go… made me promised that I will return. Return home to him, return home to my Riki and all my friends?

Is it how, in my darkest hour.. I called him and felt relief when I heard his voice?

Is it how, in my darkest minute, I cried desperately for him to forget me? For him and my friends to be happy forever?

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Is it how, in my darkest second… that I gave up all hope.. that he gave me the strength, the will, the energy, my final breath… to break free from the cell that I had been imprisoned?

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Is that, why I love him?

Is that how, he is able to reach me, as far away as I am?

To feel my pain, to feel my thoughts.. to tell me, I cannot give up?

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I…

I do not know.

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But I know, that we are connected. Our hearts are one. Even if the sigils that symbolized our bond is wiped away.

Even if the men and women who hate me, who imprisoned me, had washed away all traces of the love I was showered with.

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I still, have my Riki.

I still have, the bond.

The promise…

The promise I made to return to him.

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And that's why.

Perhaps, that's why…

I love him.

Truly, tenderly, from the bottom of my heart.

I, Noumi Kudryavka love him.

My Riki.

My, Naoe Riki…

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**Author's Note: Awaiting Kud Wafter's Translation. She deserves a sequel, even if the world she appears in is.. not really there.**

**To Key and Jun Maeda, my eternal thanks for creating such a fantastic Game. Note to all readers, Jun Maeda is my eternal idol and the person I look up on.**


	2. Short 2: The reason I compared him

_The Reason I love him: Komari Version!_

**Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.**

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Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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Why do I love him?

Is that a question?

Wait, why am I asking myself this?

Or why.. am I telling myself this…

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Why, do I love him?

I can count many different reasons why I would love him.

Perhaps his smile, perhaps the way he speaks.

Perhaps the way he saves me from the many mistakes I make.

Perhaps the way he tells me and encourages me to do even better.

Perhaps, just because he is just a wonderful person.

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The Perfect One.

And I'm the Lucky Girl who has him.

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So, I'm the lucky girl.

Is that why and how he found out my secret place?

The one place I can be alone, doing the things that I want to?

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But, is that really my secret place?

Was it not, a place I just wandered up there… just for the other, most important person in my life?

Was it not that I wanted to remember who he was?

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Perhaps, that is why, that fateful day, where we both met for the first time.

Our fates were not supposed to meet, that's what I wonder sometimes as I reflected back.

He and I, living different lives, not once meeting before this single, turning point in our lives.

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It scares and make me wonder at the same time…

Was it fate? Was it a miracle? Was it just chance?

So I pray, pray with a smile as I remembered how we met…

Whoever gave me the chance to meet him, My Riki, my loving and doting Riki…

My cheerful and understanding Riki…

Thank you.

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For it is you, who gave me the reason to love Riki.

For it is you, who had given me the chance, to love Riki.

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How is it that he knew I was there?

I wonder what he thought of me in his first glance of me?

Was it shock? Was it embarrassment?

Well.. I was embarrassed…

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But enough about that, that is not important.

In that moment, I did not fall in love with him. No, I did not, I woefully admit.

Now that I know who he is… now that he saved me from a fate worse than death…

I know, how lucky I am to have him. To have him make that promise with me.

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Yes, for him to tell me that. He would want to be my happiness, to share and bring me bliss now and in the future.

Taking over the role of my most loved one.

My dearest Onii-chan…

Imagine that!

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Him, telling me that…

Yes, it was me who brought him to the lake.

Yes, it was me who impulsively said I wanted a date with him.

Yes, it was me who trembled, wobbled, shakily asked him out.

Yes, it was me… only me who liked him.

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Somehow, someway… I fell in love with him over time.

Perhaps at the start, I didn't think of it that way.

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But why, why did I allow him to share my 'secret place'?

It is not a 'secret place' if he knew about it..

So did I, selfishly want him to be there with me, all alone?

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I shared everything I loved with him and I found out he loved them too.

Seeing his smile, sharing his happiness and his joy was enough for me.

All I wanted to see, was my friend's smiles and joy.

But when he smiles, when he smiles and looks at me.

My heart, it trembles, it skips a beat… it makes my face flushed and my speech jumbled.

I just, want to see him happy.. to see him enjoy the time we spend together.

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His reason for coming up, was surely something trivial

But that something trivial turned into something big… something enormous.

Something that swallowed me completely and utterly and I could not, would not, will never want to stop it.

So I loved him.

Slowly, without me noticing it… I fell in love with him.

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From the way he speaks, from the way he spoke to me. From the way he looked after me.

Yes, I am repeating myself.

But isn't that the reason I love him?

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Or… was it that way he saved me?

My never ending dream, the eternal dream that I have, of joy, of love, of seeing my friends and me… sharing happiness, spreading our joy to everyone.

Endless repeating itself, endlessly… repeating itself to everyone.

But why must it hurt as well? Why, why must it hurt.. so badly when things goes wrong?

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I know, I am weak.. I know, I am running from the truth.

Even if my eyes can see much more, much more than Riki-kun.

I can see the future and it is bright and sunny and Riki-kun can't

So why, why am I running from the past?

My past, his past… my most precious Onii-chan's past. I am running away from it. Never accepting it

Never, ever accepting and remembering him.

The person I love the most.

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So I pray, am I going to lose, Riki-kun as well?

Am I going to lose the person that I love the most, forget him, forget how he holds my hand, how he hugged me?

No, I do not want that…

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And so, he saved me.

Just like that… by telling me the truth, telling me what happened.

The truth, that I had avoided for so long.

The truth, that my eyes, whom can see more than Riki-kun, refused to see.

And Riki-kun, those eyes who can see so little, so little compared to mine saw the most painful and yet… the most blissful path to take.

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Have you wished upon a star?

What are the wishes that you would want to make?

Remember, you have 3 wishes to make…

So, what would they be?

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We shared the same first wish:

That everyone, everyone that I knew, that Riki knew would continue to be happy and to enjoy themselves…

For our happy days together not to end.

That is, my first wish.

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My second wish, is for me to remember.

For me to remember everything that I had forgotten.

Yes, I Kamitaka Komari had forgotten.

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And my last wish, is for Riki-kun.

Yes, I remember now, I had that wish the time we searched for a shooting star.

He was with me, looking after me even as I fell asleep.

Even if I had tried my best to stay awake. I had fallen in front of him.

How did I look then, I wonder?

Did it made his heart skip a beat as well?

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I would never know, for Riki-kun will never let me know.

But if it did, I am happy, for I skipped a beat when he fell asleep… on me.

That peaceful, adorable face sleeping just inches away from my breathless face.

I… I couldn't help but be intoxicated by his scent…everything of Riki-kun then and there.

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Ahh… it's so embarrassing!

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My final wish, is for Riki-kun.

For those eyes who can see so little, to see more.

To see what I can see, even if it is a little.

For him to share my view, yes… my view of happiness, joy and love every single day.

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After all, If I feel happy by making others feel happy…

Won't the whole world be a better place if everyone does the same?

A happy thing would lead to another happy thing…

Forever and ever.

And endless chain of happiness.

That is my greatest wish of all.

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So, for My Riki-kun.

My gentle and harsh Riki-kun…

Who is a wonderful, wonderful and great person…

Saw what is the path I should take.

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The path to embrace my past, my lost, my sorrows and sadness and then…

And then, together with Riki-kun… we'll find happier things.

We'll go searching, together… for happier things than the sorrow that I had experienced before.

Yes.

That is the path that Riki-kun had shown me.

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Not of denial, not of avoidance…

Not of forgetting, not of giving up.

Not of, clinging on desperately to what can't be held.

No.

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It is to, move forward; with him, with my friends, our friends who worked hard for us. For myself and for him as well.

Searching for my happiness with him and for him as well.

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That is the reason, I love him.

Not for this moment in time.

I will love him, forever and ever… till the end of time.

That is, my promise to my Star.

To the granter of my wishes, those three wishes I had wished, upon the shooting star.

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Yes, Riki-kun is my star, my shooting star.

The star, that made all my three wishes came true.

If it's him, I know… that I love him.

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**Author's Note: Waiting for Kud Wafter, even if there is no advancement for her. Surprisingly, Komari is quite mature, even if she looks like a Loli.**

**Is that wrong? :laughs:  
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	3. Short 3: The Reason I avoided him

The Reason I love him: Mio Version!

**Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.**

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Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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Why do I love him?

I… don't know what you are talking about…

After all, I never once did admit to liking him, did I?

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It was only him, him that said he liked me.

After all, besides that one kiss that we shared…

We did nothing else…

Unlike, him when he was with my Sister…

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:blush: Oh my, did I just say that out loud?

Well, does it matter?

I did not once, said that I loved him.

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Only him, he was the only one who said he loved me.

How embarrassing…

Well, at least he didn't scream it out for the world to see…

But, it seems everyone knew that anyway…

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So, perhaps I do love him.

Perhaps, I really do… but if I do, why do I love him?

What is love in the first place?

Love is, wanting to see the person you love.

Dreaming about him…

Looking at his sleeping face, thinking it's something blissful.

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Did I do that? I don't… remember doing that…

Well, maybe I did.. once… Stare at him while he was sleeping

But he did that to me too.

It was so rude of him…

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So love, what is it?

It is spending time with him, time spent doing nothing particularly interesting.

And yet at the same time, feeling like you want it never to end.

Yes, just like us… on that day when I invited him out.

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No, not a date, not a secret gathering…

I just wanted him to visit a special place with me.

Yes, that's right, my special place.

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So perhaps, I do love him.

I do, spend time with him.

I do, think of him and I dream of him and wished he dreamt of me.

So, I do love him. Yes, I love him.

But, let's keep it our secret, shall we?

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So, why do I love him?

Was it the way he saved me?

Was it the way that he brought me to his world? Selfishly, not caring about what I thought?

No, he did told me about Little Busters, a group where we fight crime and bad guys together.

I thought it was… childish and immature.

So immature that I wanted and was surprised at me wanting to laugh.

Am I right to despise them? Those, innocent and glad eyes peeking at me.

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He loved them and they, loved him.

What right do I have, to be asked to join them.

They are a dazzling people, so dazzling that without my umbrella, I believe that I would not be able to look at them.

All of them, running about practicing baseball.

They said, they were there just because they wanted to.

Not because they had to.

I wonder to myself, why did he wanted me to be part of them as well?

Why?

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Because, he loved me.

That's my selfish thoughts…

But perhaps that is true.

He brought me there, because he loved me.

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I… I think… that is so selfish of him.

All I wanted in life, is to be alone.

To be solitary, to read my books in peace…

Why...why am I crying? Why now? It is so embarrassing this way…

But yes, why did he has to pull me from my solitude?

Why… why did I fall in love with them, with the members of Little Busters?

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I asked myself that…

Because he saved me.

I was always alone, always by myself.

The girl with no shadows, Mishizono Mio.

That was I, but with Little Busters..

I was their manager, their ever present manager and it..

It made me happy.

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Yes, It did.

So that's why I loved him.

He saved me, even if I resisted, even if I refused him once.

For that, I thank him.

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Must.. I have another reason for loving him?

Oh dear, that might prove more difficult than I had imagined…

I love him, that is a fact by itself. Must I, repeat myself?

How much he has done for me?

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Small things, simple things… like spending time with me.

And wanting to know me as well, all those simple, meaningless things.

That's why I love him.

I asked him: "what is the _"Mio"_ that he sees"

A simple question that I had him answer and he did answer.

In the way that surprised me:

_"I don't know."_

Truthfully, from the bottom of his heart… he answered me.

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Yes, he did not know then.

But, I fell in love with him then and there.

He wanted to know me.

The real me, not my looks, not the name…

But me, Mio.

The real me, Mio…

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He wanted to know and I told him to ask me that question again.

And again he did answer.

He reached out for me, his hands, gentle and warm reached out for my hands and held it.

Just when I was desperate, just when I thought nothing could be done.

I… I was afraid, that I would lose it.

Lose me…

Just like how… I lost myself.

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But he helped me. Made me believe that in the world, there remains Kindness still.

Yes, there is still kindness in the world, even if it is wasted on me.

Oh, how he will scold me when he hears that..

But yes, I began to believe.

I began to feel, I began to… love.

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I love him for how he seemed to come to me, casually, easily as if it is the most natural thing to do.

It was his fault that we met..

And it was his fault that I felt this way.

Without his efforts, without his work…

Without him, there would be no more Mio.

No more me, no more enjoying the books that I love.

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I knew, the end was near.

I knew, that it was useless to struggle.

But for him, I tried…

I tried so hard to remember, so hard not to cry.

That day, where we met for what I believe is the last time.

I prayed, prayed that it would not be.

I prayed, I begged to have more time.

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But time is relentless.

Yes, time is relentless… and I.

I left him.

Just like that, I left him.

I hoped he would forget me.

Then, I could forget myself too.

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After all, no one remembered me.

But he did.

He... stubbornly refused to let me go.

I, wished and wished for him to let go of me…

The girl without a shadow…

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But he didn't.

Even if he had made mistakes once…

Even if it is twice, even if it is thrice.

He didn't give up.

He would remember me all over again.

Perhaps I was to blame.

After all, I was the one who gave him my most precious thing.

I was the one, who made sure there was something left.

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Something, that only me, This Mio, would have.

This Mio that he remembered.

This Mio, who should have left.

This Mio, who should have repented, who should have not wished to return.

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Yes, I, for him…

… How embarrassing.

Must I say this?

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It appears that I have to.

I, have to live, for him.

Not to live in the shadows, not to berate myself.

But to live, strongly, in my own way.

As Mishizono Mio, no one else and that is that.

I had to give up, my dreams of solitude.

Of being alone, of being by myself. Resting, giving up, letting, letting all his efforts go to waste.

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Perhaps, that's why I love him.

He never gave up on me.

Even if I rejected him.

Even if I had told him not to do so.

Such a stubborn man.

But I do not dislike him that way, stubborn and childish as he is.

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That's why, I love him.

Yes, that's why I like Naoe-san and the members of Little Busters.

Living life, the way they like it.

Loving life, the way it is supposed to be, not avoiding it.

Not, forgetting what I had done. But forgiving it, enduring it. Learning to be strong.

I am never alone, not with him and not with her as well.

This is what I want to say to them: The precious two in my life.

So I pray, even if I don't say it to the two who loved me and the one that loved us two.

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I want to say this:

**Thank you**

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For there are things, that can be known through the heart.

So please, stay with me.

Watch as I step out of the shadows into the sun.

Not fearing anything anymore, not with the two of you with me.

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That's why I love him.

That's why I love her.

No more, no less… just the way I like it…

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**Author's Note: One word: _"Midori_**_"_


	4. Short 4: The Reason I bothered him

The Reason I love him: Haruka Version!

**Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.**

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Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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I am, a girl that shouldn't have been born.

Yes I am.

I should not have been born.

I should not have existed.

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Yes, I do not deserve to live.

I, should not be alive today.

Yet I am here.

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So why am I here for?

I know the answer to that very well.

I am here, because, I am myself.

Yes, I am here, because I am myself, because I am Saigusa Haruka.

That's who I am.

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A person who is energetic, a person who creates trouble.

A person who is unpredictable.

That is who I am, Saigusa Haruka.

But, because I am who I am.

I do not like myself.

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Yes, I loathe myself.

Why am I here?

Why am I born?

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I ask myself that, so many, many times.

Why am I the one who had 'lost'?

Why am I the one who have to suffer?

Why am I the most unfortunate person in the world?

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Why, why, why?

So I hate myself.

And I hate _her._

Yes, I hate _her._

_.._

_..  
_

Why must she exists and why must I exist too?

Do I exist just to balance the cycle of fortune?

Must I always have the worst of the draw?

Why must she always have the better half of my life?

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Why? Why? Why?

I ask myself all that. I, Saigusa Haruka.

But please, do not call me that.

Call me Haruka.

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I am, only Haruka.

Not Saigusa Haruka.

Who needs a family name like that?

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Go ahead, hate me, mock me, kick me out of line…

I dirty you don't I?

Just by accidentally brushing against you…

I dirty you and your clothes.

Yes, so what about it?

My father was an ex-con.

Is that wrong?

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So, who is wrong?

Am I wrong to be born?

So… I am wrong to be born.

I should have died.

I should have been, eradicated… so that I would not shame the family name.

Is that it?

Is that all that I am living for?

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To be your punching bag?

No, that is not enough is it?

I am here to be mocked by you, to have everything taken from me.

My Riki, MY RIKI HAVE TO BE TAKEN FROM YOU?

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* * *

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No, anything but that!

You cannot take anything more from me…

Or so I thought.

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…

…

You pulled your hardest prank one me…

Taking… Riki from me…

Stop smiling at me!

Stop looking down at me!

Stop it! Stop humiliating me in front of him!

Stop! JUST STOP IT!

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…

…

….

Why, why must I go through all this?

Why must all the unfortunate things happen to me?

I am the princess, waiting to be rescued by my prince, Riki…

So why, why are you getting in my way?

Why are you stopping me from being rescued?

Why, tell me why…

Why, won't you answer me? Why do you look at me with that sneer on your face?

Is it because you 'won'?

Is that it?

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Yes, I made trouble for you.

Yes, I disgraced our family name.

Yes, I find it amusing, I find it worth it.

I find that, I do enjoy seeing you being lectured.

Yes, I love seeing you being punished and criticized because of me.

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So you are not the perfect person that you make yourself be.

You, being dragged down by me.

A person you see as filth!

I am tickled pink thinking about it~

Isn't that great, Kanata~ IHIHIHI~

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* * *

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But, why do I love him?

Why do I love him, my Riki?

My Riki, who I tease everyday for being too uptight?

Why do I love him?

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I… I wanted to ask him, why he loved me.

But he wouldn't tell me…

That's mean of him.

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Is it the way he never refuses me?

Is it the way that he accepts me?

Is it the way he just… looks at me?

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Ah… Is that it? Is that why I love him?

No…

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To be truthful, it is the way; he never gave up on me.

It is the way that he never ran.

It is the way that he never once avoided me.

It is the way, he came to find me.

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He, came to find me.

Not I, went to find him.

He wanted to find me.

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I… My heart, my soul, my body… was given to him at that point of time.

I would give him my life, my soul… my spirit.

Anything to him.

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Just because he came and find me, I can give him so much?

I must be able to love anyone in this world~

But, jokes aside…

He came to find me.

Even if he lied, I rather he lied…

He came, to find me…

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He, Naoe Riki came and find me, Haruka.

To find out if I was alright…

Even when he knew that I wasn't alright.

I would never want to drag Riki down with me…

Down to where I am, in the deepest part of hell…

No, I wouldn't.

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Eheh~ I lied again~

I loved him to for… the way he accepted me.

Not for what my parents had done.

Not for what my reputation had brought me.

Not for what the others had said about me.

He accepted me, sins and all.

Trouble and all… everything about me, he accepted.

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No doubt, he would sigh before he followed me.

But, he did accept me.

He loved me for who I am, Haruka.

Not me, the one who is despised.

Not me, the one whose father is an ex-convict.

Not me, the one who brought so much trouble to everyone.

Not me, the one who had the entire school running after me.

Not me, the one who would no doubt bring him trouble.

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He loved me, for the person I am inside, Haruka.

So I love him.

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* * *

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So, what went wrong?

Who was at fault in the first place?

I ask myself this every night.

I exist, not to be hated.

But I exist to hate.

That's why I exist, to hate _her._

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But, what went wrong?

Why did she have to do this to me?

Did she like it? Wasn't she… once my only comfort?

So who… should I hate?

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When I knew that it wasn't her fault.

When I knew that she didn't mean it that way.

When I knew that she was forced to do it.

When I knew that she had tried to protect me.

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But so… why?

Why did she had to do this to me?

Why wouldn't she tell me?

If she didn't… this wouldn't end would it?

This endless, cruel, meaningless… and useless cycle.

It would never end..

And the cold comfort that I had.

The only, shallow, useless and pathetic hope that I had, would only drive this circle further.

When, when will it stop?

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So, was my only hope just a pathetic little wish?

A wish that I was not the one…?

That I was not _the _one who had shamed us all?

Was that, all I can hope for?

What about her? What about Kanata?

What was her hope?

Was there nothing at all?

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Should I hate them, the people who gave birth to me?

Should I hate _her, _her who made everything worse?

Or should I hate _them, _the ones who made everything began in the first place?

Who should I hate?

Or should I hate no one?

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I don't know… but Riki… My Riki, he might know.

After all, he is the one who stood up for me.

That too, is why I love him.

He stood up for me, he was angry for me.

I thought it was cute, the way he wanted to punch _her _for me.

But he shouldn't… he mustn't!

I… I love him too much for him to be dragged down by me.

There, I said it, I loved him, happy?

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I love him too, for the way he held my hand.

For the way he told me to not give up.

For the way he told me not to act strong anymore.

For the way he held my hand and gave me strength.

I can still feel his warm hand when I close my eyes…

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He was the one who made me remember what I truly wanted.

Not to hate, not to hate _her _or the rest of the world.

But, all I wanted was to have a place where I belong.

For someone to tell me: 'I like you.'

For someone to tell me that they like me, Haruka.

For me to tell someone: "I like you."

For me to tell someone that I like them.

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And for them to tell me..

To tell me, Haruka.

To tell the person who was deep inside me, the real me.

The person who did not wish to hate.

The one who was not overcame by my own weakness.

The person who knew the truth, the real truth, deep inside me.

The one who wished everything to end, to stop this endless cycle of hatred and mistrust.

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To tell me that: "I want to be by your side."

That's all I wanted.

What I truly, truly wanted to have.

So, that's why I like Riki, My Naoe Riki.

The Riki that I would not wish to give up to Tanaka.

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Yes, I am selfish.

Yes, perhaps I dragged him along for the ride.

Yes, perhaps in the end, it was only me who had gotten the better deal after all.

But, he loved me.

So he would understand…

That, even now, even when I am with _her._

I would not forget why and how I love him…

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So let me whisper into your ear,

The one that I love

The one that saved me.

No, the one that helped me save myself.

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The one that held out a hand to me.

The one that was strong when I was weak.

The one that was weak when I was strong.

The person, who guided me along, complaining and loving me all the way.

To Naoe Riki.

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..

**Thank you.**

**..**

**..**

**..  
**

* * *

**Author's Notes: The hardest chapter to write so far. Even if this is a dream. Even if this is not the reality you wished for. Even if it is not real. As long as you remember, you will be happy that this dream took place.**

**Even if this reality is selfish. Even if it will never happen.**

**I still wish, that this world exists, even for a split second….  
**


	5. Chapter 5: The Reason I forgot him

The Reason I love him: Kurugaya Version!

**Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.**

**..  
**

Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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* * *

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Ara ara, why are you asking me this?

Why do I love him? The boy?

Must I answer this?

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...

Onee-san, doesn't want to answer this.

No, no, it would be better for him to scream why he loved me.

Sou, Sou~ Him taking a microphone and telling the entire school that he liked me.

Yes, Onee-san can Imagine that.

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…

…

But then, he did that once, did he not?

In the broadcasting room, when we were alone.

When, we were supposed to be alone.

When, we were supposed to have no interruptions.

He said that:

He liked me.

He liked, Kurugaya Yuiko.

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Odd, he already did that.

So… Onee-san, has to tell you, why I love him?

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Oh, what of it?

It might be interesting..

I'm rubbing off those 3 idiots I guess…

I believe I am a robot, a person with no emotions.

A person, who does not feel, who does not know, who is not human.

But he said he liked me.

Weird, which part of me did he like?

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..

He told me he had no answer.

Silly boy, you can't just fall in love with someone without thinking?

Oh, that's right.

He told me he didn't know either… for some reason, he seems to be saying the truth.

It's odd, he makes me so confused.

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He makes me think about him, make me restless at night.

Makes me does things that is not me.

Who would go out, deep in the night to meet with a person you had clearly rejected?

Who would, indeed?

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I did.

Odd, now that I reflected, if I had not done that, would this have happened?

Then, I made a wish.

Perhaps, I had made the wish a long, long time ago…

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A little wish, that I would know.

That I would experience, that I would know.

Perhaps, more about this thing called: 'Liking someone'

It's odd, it's funny, it's something that I made a wish for.

A wish for the future beyond now.

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That I would know, that I would enjoy, that I can experience…

What it is like to like someone, to love someone.

I'm definitely rubbing off the Little Busters.

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It is their fault, but I do not mind it this way.

They made me realize what is having fun.

What is being bored.

What is happiness and what is sadness all at the same time.

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Ara, ara? Why did I join the Little Busters?

It is to know, whether I am 'human'.

I am human, in the sense that my species is Homo sapiens

My appearance is human, my body is human.

Onee-chan is inviting you to look~

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Oh my, no need to get embarrassed.

I can do everything, anything that I wished to.

But I cannot, be human.

I saw the Little Busters, they seemed to be having fun.

And so, I was jealous. Perhaps a little, perhaps very much so…

I do not know.

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Yes, I wish to experience all those again.

Even if it hurts me, even if it is ridiculous.

Even if it is not the most effective way.

So be it, let me be with him and them.

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With Riki-kun, I know there will be many firsts.

I know I can smile to him, to them.  
That is what I feel.

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So, I do love him after all?

Ahahaha.

Onee-chan is embarrassed. Can you turn away for a little while?

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* * *

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So, I do love…

Turn away, NOW!

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* * *

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So as to why? Such a silly question…

I like Riki and he likes me as well…

That is all…

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…

…

That is not enough? Onee-san does not have the mood to talk to you for very long.

I baked cookies for him, yes I did. I wanted to see if he would like it.

After all, it is good for lovers to give gifts to each other.

Like the gift that he gave me…

It was the dumplings with: "Evol" written on it.

On hindsight, perhaps I have not even considered the possibilities for it.

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There is only two ways those words can be spelt:

Vole or Love.

Onee-san is not a vole.

So it must be love..

…

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Turn away, now. I demand it, or be prepared for punishment!

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* * *

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Perhaps I was dreaming.

Yes, I was dreaming.

Was, as in, I had been dreaming.

Onee-chan is teaching you something here.

Be serious, or be punished.

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I was dreaming.

A dream, where wishes can come true.

Have you, ever, wished upon a star.

Have you? Have you ever, wished upon a star?

Komari-kun must have done so.

So must have Kudo-kun.

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..

I too, have wished upon a star.

For a place, where I can fall in love with him.

Where all my wishes can come true.

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I had not known I was dreaming.

No, I had not know.

All I remember, was that, I loved him.

And he loved me.

But it was like sand.

Slipping away through my fingers.

Memories, dreams, hopes, realities.

Everything, just disappearing after one wakes up.

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It is useless to fight.

It is useless to resist.

After all, if it is inevitable, why resist when the most effective way to end it, is to let it happen?

But I did not give in.

I did not lose, I fought, I resisted.

I, stupid and foolish girl that I am,

risked it all. Everything, everything I had.

I risked his trust in me.

His faith in me.

His love in me.

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Everything I had, just to hold on to one…

Single… memory of him.

Of me and him.

Of the fact that I loved him.

Of the fact that he, loved me.

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Of the fact that, we were happy.

Of the fact that, I, was once happy.

I, was once in love.

I, had smiled to him.

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Meaningless struggles.

Meaningless fights.

Scribbling the facts that I had learned.

Everything I had, to just… remember. To just, stay steadfast…

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But it had to give, somewhere.

This meaningless, fantasy of mine.

Slipping through my fingers… Disappearing into the abyss, to the void.

Even if he wanted it to be there.

Even if he remembered..

Even if.. all these never happened.

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Onee-chan, wishes you to leave.

Just.. for a small moment.

Please.

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...

* * *

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Perhaps it is better not to know.

Perhaps I was wrong.

Yes, perhaps, after all.

I was wrong.

I am human, I make mistakes.

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This, is the worst mistake ever.

I did not know it would be so painful.

They call it, bitter sweet.

There s nothing… bitter nor sweet about it.

It is just, agonizingly painful.

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To love someone is wonderful.

To be with someone you love is wonderful.

To… leave someone you love… is… indescribable.

My heart, which I thought was not human, felt it was like being ripped from my chest.

It is so painful.

I did not know it was so painful.

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Perhaps, it is alright, not to learn about it.

Loving, is painful.

But it is so, wonderful.

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I do not know, Onee-chan does not know.

Whether it is right to love

Or to know what is love

Or to know, what it is like, leaving the one you love.

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But there is no endless story,

The world goes on.

Even if it is flawed.

Even if this is flawed reality is the one that I choose.

Yes, I choose to love him.

Even if it hurts

Even if it is meaningless.

I just hope, he felt it…

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Even if he did not.

Even if he can't hear it.

After all, no one… could hear it.

It was only him, only Riki-kun who heard it.

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I, am satisfied.

This small flawed world.

This small, useless and ultimately impossible world.

There is nothing for me to say.

There is nothing that is needed to be said.

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Even if it is just a moment.

Even if it is just a hour, a minute, a second…

I am satisfied.

I know, what it is like to love.

I know, what it is like, to be human.

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So it is alright.

So it is fine.

So… why is Onee-san crying?

Why… why am I crying?

Why am I so upset…

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Because I will forget him?

Because he will forget me?

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So… even if there is nothing left.

Even if there should be nothing.

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I know…

I will…

I must…

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Never forget that.

I, once, loved a person.

His name is:

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Naoe Riki.

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* * *

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**Author's Notes: I believe there should be another ending for her, but for now, here you go.**

**A character that has more inside her, that is Kurugaya...**

**Even if it is she, deserves an eternity in this world.  
**


End file.
